Review - Semi-Pro

I think I remember when Will Ferrell was funny--way back before he relied on gratuitous shots of his pockmarked, weirdly hairy fat jiggling on screen for at least half of the movie to be funny. He has always relied on potty humor and frat party jokes but now he doesn't even try to actually be funny. He has clearly come to think that whenever he graces our screens with his presence we should automatically be laughing; unfortunately, he hasn't been funny since Anchorman, although Blades of Glory had its moments. Semi-Pro is the lowest he's fallen yet and he is beginning to take other actors down with him, most notably Will Arnett, who barely even manages to be recognizable on the screen in this movie.
The plot of the film follows Jackie Moon (Ferrell) and his struggling amateur basketball team, the Flint Tropics, who must get at least fourth place in their league in order to be a part of the ABA merger with the NBA.
The few jokes that are hidden in the script are beaten to death, in several scenes which carry on for far too long, although on the plus side this gives the audience even longer to try to find out why it is funny. Unfortunately, the 90 minute runtime is not nearly enough for anyone to find anything funny about this predictable and amateur excuse for a film.
Woody Harrelson shows up as the wise-sage Monix who is supposed to help the Tropics to get to the championship. He quickly becomes the focus of the film which is a problem because he doesn't even attempt to be funny. I don't meant to say that he isn't funny. I literally mean that his character never cracks a joke, never finds himself in an awkward situation. The only thing that is funny about him are his attempts to provide life lessons to the other players. Additionally, he is engaged in a romantic subplot with Maura Tierney (who is really slumming it these days). Unfortunately, the specifics of their relationship are never explained. Tierney's character seems to be living with her brother? boyfriend? It is never made clear who he is although his obsession with Monix is made very evident.
In many cases, the movie feels like a slapdash attempt to string together several scenes that Ferrell couldn't fit into his other movies. These scenes are presented under the guise of 'promotions' for the team and give Ferrell the opportunity to wrestle a bear, dress like a sun and dance with seahorses. And the laughs they desperately strive for are as transparent as Will Ferrell's new comedy style in which he thinks everything is funny just because he screams it.
In the words of Jackie Moon, " I just wish I could puke this all away!"